Ask Lila Evermore – A Ghostly Advice Column

Advice from Evermore House’s resident ghost, Lila Evermore, offered with grace, wit, and just enough haunting charm.

1. What advice would you give to the families when they first come to the Airbnb Evermore House and see you?
Dear Nervous New Arrivals,
First, do not scream unless it is truly necessary. I have been dead since 1931, not rude.
When you arrive at Evermore House and spot me in the hall, my advice is simple. Introduce yourself as you would to any hostess. A polite hello does wonders. If you are alarmed, take one steadying breath, then remember this: I am here to keep watch, not cause scenes. Though I do enjoy a little dramatic entrance now and then, I am far more likely to guide you to the good rooms than to rattle the teacups.

Children tend to adjust best. Grown folks, less so. If you must ask whether I am real, the answer is yes, in the particular way moonlight is real. If you ask whether I bite, the answer is no, though I may judge your luggage.

In short, be courteous, curious, and not overly faint. Evermore House has room for the living and the deceased, provided everyone mind their manners.

Yours in spectral hospitality,
Lila Evermore

*****

2. Dear Lila, My Beau has asked for my hand in marriage. I love him so, but he has not a job. What should I do. Sincerely, Forlorn in Love

Dear Forlorn in Love,
Ah, the old romance and rent dilemma. A fine love story can warm the heart, but it will not pay the grocer.
Before you say yes, ask yourself a few practical questions. Does your beau have plans, ambition, and the ability to follow through? Does he seek work, or merely seek your devotion while he remains decorative? A husband need not be rich, but he ought to be responsible. Love is lovely. Reliability is lovelier still.

If he is between positions and earnest about improving his prospects, that is one matter. If he expects marriage to solve his troubles, that is another, and not a charming one. A ring should not become a reward for wishful thinking.

My advice is this. Tell him you adore him, but you cannot build a future on sentiment alone. If he loves you properly, he will understand that a good marriage begins with partnership, not just pretty promises.

Yours with romantic realism,
Lila Evermore

*****

3. What do you do for fun in the summer that doesn’t cost money?

Dear Budget-Conscious Cruncher,
Summer is a generous season, even for those of us without pockets in the usual sense.
I enjoy evening walks through the garden when the roses are resting from the heat and the fireflies are putting on their little lantern show. I also like sitting on the porch with a cool glass of lemonade that I cannot drink but can admire, which is very nearly the same thing in spirit. Sometimes I listen to guests pretending they are not lost in the woods, and that is entertainment enough.

For the living, I recommend reading under a tree, collecting wildflowers, watching thunderstorms from a safe window, cloud-watching, taking long walks, and sitting with a friend and a fan while gossiping responsibly. One may also press flowers, sketch the view, or make up stories about the neighbors, though I suggest kindness in the final draft.
Pleasure need not be purchased. Sometimes it is simply noticed.

Yours in thrifty delight,
Lila Evermore

*****

4. What’s the best way to communicate with a friendly ghost?

Dear Open-Minded Messenger,
With respect, calm, and perhaps a decent lamp.

A friendly ghost prefers someone who speaks plainly and does not behave as though every creak in the floorboards is a national emergency. Start by greeting the spirit as you would an unusual houseguest. Use your normal voice. No need for chanting, bells, or theatrical flourishes unless you are trying to impress someone, and even then I would advise against it.

The best communicators are patient. Ghosts do not always answer in the ways you expect. A chill in the air, a flicker in a mirror, a book opening to the right page, these are often our version of a conversation. Ask clear questions. Listen carefully. Do not interrupt if the ghost is trying to be helpful, which, I assure you, is more difficult than it sounds.

And above all, do not demand proof. A friendly ghost is not a parlour trick. We are beings of memory, habit, and the occasional dramatic draft.

Be polite, be observant, and if all else fails, leave out a cookie. It helps with morale, if not with metabolism.

Yours from beyond the veil,
Lila Evermore

*****

Until next time, dear readers, may your teacups stay warm, your secrets stay charming, and your attic doors remain politely unhaunted.